It’s Tuesday. I swear this is the most annoying stage of being sick—the “almost human but not quite” phase. I’m doing better, but I’m also not magically cured. My stomach is still suspicious of everything I eat and my body keeps acting like it’s running on Windows 95—lots of lag, random error messages, and the occasional need to reboot. I’m well enough to complain, but not well enough to stop complaining.

I think I’ve cracked the case. A sharp-eyed reader sent me the photo on the right, and it hit me—I’m clearly suffering from a dangerous deficiency of candy corn. It’s been nearly a year since my last dose, so to be safe, I grabbed a bag and have officially begun self-medicating!

-keep

Keep,

For those long days before Halloween.

Steve

It’s Monday. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of my once-trustworthy digestive system. My stomach, once a healthy champion that bravely took on tacos and questionable seafood, has betrayed me. One microscopic germ waltzes in and suddenly I’m doubled over like I’ve been hit with an invisible crowbar. It felt like my insides were trying to tie themselves into balloon animals. I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t sleep, and every position feels like your body’s laughing at you for even trying. And the best part, nothing helps. All this fun started Friday and didn’t relent until Sunday night. That was basically my whole weekend. All I care about now is getting a full night of solid sleep without intestinal interruptions. Such a waste of a weekend.

-keep

It’s Friday! Don’t you just love when the work week is shortened by a holiday? There’s nothing sweeter than when an entire day is removed from the beginning (or the end) of the work week. Nothing makes people work harder than realizing they only have to fake productivity for four days instead of five.

I was pleased to hear that 3-time NASCAR Cup series champion Tony Stewart clinched the NHRA Top Fuel regular season title at the U.S. Nationals. He got a $150,000 check and is now top seed for the Countdown playoffs. If it has wheels, he can win in it.

Today I have another amateur photo from a reader who recently appeared here on my website. I always welcome readers sending in their amateur photos, even when they have already appeared several times. All I ask is for some variety.

Anyway, it is Friday so the babes & the jokes are doubled. Have a good weekend and… enjoy!

-keep

Keep, What can I say, she liked seeing herself on your site! Here’s another! Salute!! -Anonymous