It’s Thursday. It’s not often you get to dust off the word sweltering, but over the past few days it’s probably climbed into everyone’s vocabulary. Here in Illinois, we’ve been getting cooked under temperatures in the upper 90s, with humidity so thick you could practically spread it on toast. Step outside and it’s like walking straight into a hot, wet blanket that someone forgot in a sauna.

Of course, this happens every summer. The only mystery is how long Mother Nature plans to keep us simmering and just how much humidity she’s going to dump on us for good measure. Right now the forecast says relief won’t arrive until Friday, but forecasts have been known to lie. Summer has officially arrived, and it’s kicking down the front door.

And just for fun, here’s my top 10 uses of the word sweltering:

01. It’s sweltering outside. Perfect weather if your retirement plan involves spontaneously combusting.
02. Today’s sweltering forecast is brought to you by the surface of the sun.
03. It’s so sweltering the mosquitoes are asking for sunscreen.
04. The sweltering heat hit me like opening the oven to check on a frozen pizza.
05. Nothing says “summer fun” like sweltering through your shirt before 9 a.m.
06. It’s sweltering enough that even the squirrels have called it quits and gone inside.
07. Whoever said, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity,” clearly wasn’t standing in this sweltering soup.
08. It’s so sweltering my air conditioner just sighed and filed for workers’ comp.
09. This sweltering weather is Mother Nature’s way of reminding us that free saunas aren’t always a good thing.
10. The forecast says sweltering, but I think “the devil left the oven door open” is a little more accurate.

-keep