It’s Wednesday. My girlfriend is all about the classic Christmas vibe—twinkly lights, pretty ornaments, wreaths on every surface, window displays that look like they were designed by a Hallmark elf. Me? I like to go more festively off-brand.

Case in point: my pride and joy of holiday décor is a skeleton Santa and his equally bony Elf dog, both dressed in their seasonal finest and posed outside wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. After this photo was taken, I doubled down and added candy cane lights and a pair of floodlights so they can be easily seen by neighbors and low-flying aircraft. I am no doubt a goddamn artist!

I would expand the collection, but apparently that’s all I’m allowed at this time.

-keep