It’s Monday. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of my once-trustworthy digestive system. My stomach, once a healthy champion that bravely took on tacos and questionable seafood, has betrayed me. One microscopic germ waltzes in and suddenly I’m doubled over like I’ve been hit with an invisible crowbar. It felt like my insides were trying to tie themselves into balloon animals. I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t sleep, and every position feels like your body’s laughing at you for even trying. And the best part, nothing helps. All this fun started Friday and didn’t relent until Sunday night. That was basically my whole weekend. All I care about now is getting a full night of solid sleep without intestinal interruptions. Such a waste of a weekend.

-keep