The Joke of the Day!

A husband and wife are putting up Holiday decorations when the husband offers to hang the wreath. “But sweetums, you are inept and you have no tools,” says the wife.

The husband shrugs and goes to Lowe’s to buy a hammer. He walks past a display for the new Elf Steam Multi-Tool. It had a drill, three saws, and a sander – all working on steam power. He buys the tool hoping his wife will finally have confidence in his abilities.

When he gets home and hangs the wreath, he puts a hole in the wall, knocks over the bookcase and raises the ire of his wife.

“Take that stupid tool back. I will ask my father to put up the wreath.”

The man shrugs, “Aww honey, I can do the job. The new tool is defective.”

So he goes back to Lowe’s and instead of getting a different tool, is talked into replacing it with an upgraded Elf Steam.

The man gets home and creates more disaster with the tool. He breaks a window, gouges the floor, scares the cat who then knocks over the Christmas tree. His wife is enraged.

“You fool! Take that Elf Steam back. My dad will be here after dinner to clean up your disaster!”

The sulking man drives back to Lowe’s, returns it and goes across the street to the Home Depot. Yet again he is convinced to purchase another Elf Steam.

But this time when he gets home, thanks to the new tool, he fixes the holes in the wall, replaces the window, hangs the wreath, refinishes the floor, puts up the tree, grooms the cat, builds new bookshelves, all in one day. The man feels unstoppable. His wife is so proud. His father-in-law is impressed.

Next day, the man goes to Home Depot and asks the tool department manager why he was suddenly confident and successful. “Obviously,” said the man, “You had Lowe’s Elf Steam.”

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Why did the Fox News Christmas tree catch fire?

They left it too close to the gaslight.